Olive Bus - Disaster Imminent

Olive - The decision

2007-04-11T09:38:06+02:00

Well its the morn of Wednesday, so far, this week has flown by quicker than a seagull that has just spotted some new chips being eaten by a spotty, fat and annoying 6 year old boy in a run-down English seaside resort. I'm mostly waiting for some design work to be given to me, but secretly hoping nothing comes through, so then I can get out with my camera to take photos as it’s the most stunning day!

Anyway...back onto things Westphalia Green (that's the colour of Olive we think!) Saturday, Vic picks up the old dog and bone, whilst at the same time enjoying some proper nice food and drink in the shape of two large scones complete with jam and cream, a pint of Bulmer’s with ice and a date with one over-zealous wasp, and rings bay man, she offers him £400 which is a bit cheeky, but hell, you only live once as that highly irritating saying goes! He's not having any of it, it’s a not, but he says he'll take £450, Vic offers it on the button, the bay man is going to get back to us via the witch-craft that is textual messaging.

We spend the rest of the day avoiding getting stung and preparing for a beach fire, when all of a sudden my mobile telephone communications device vibrates into life. I get the feeling that a large bee has just been disturbed by a hungry bear as my leg goes into spasm...I quickly almost crash my car as I reach into my pocket (off course I pull over to read the message...take heed kids!) its from the bay man...im afraid to read it...I read it...

Its says "I will take £450 for it!"

YES YES YES..the excitement is similar to that of discovering you have a kit-kat which is pure chocolate without the biscuit centre and then discovering that instead of 6 Mr' Kipling chocolate slices being in a packet, there is 1 free...bliss!!!

We have her! For £450, and from a cool bloke as well! The bay man was more than helpful in all this and gave us all the information we required as well as a nice brew, which always helps.

Now it’s a case of sorting out a trailer, which Vic does with the utmost urgency. The trailer gets sorted...this weekend could be the time where Olive comes home!

Oh god...the nerves are building!

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Olive - The discovery

2007-04-10T10:29:41+02:00

The "Bay" man's house is upon us, the feeling of excitement is similar to that experienced when discovering you have a kit-kat which is pure chocolate without the biscuit centre.

Vic turns the 600cc beast off; the low rumble of the 1bhp engine comes to an abrupt halt. We gather weapons and ammo, otherwise known as bags and phones and leap from the Smart, lock it, and head towards the front door of the infamous, camper van housing house.

A man approaches us, he "the bay man"! Excitement again, turns into a mixture of fear and anticipation; I now know what a gladiator in Roman Britain felt like before entering battle lol

We are led around the back of the house, past a series of old, dishevelled barns to be led into the back door of one such barn...to be met with the site of....

There she was!!! In all her glory! Sitting there, a VW Camper in a barn...surely...the stuff of dreams??? Well surely the stuff of my dreams, but being strange, and Welsh, don’t read too much into that!

Anyways, we have a good old look around the bus, we punch, prod, kick, pull, push and drink coffee all the while mulling over this mysterious beast.

We stay for an hour chatting to the bay man about all sorts of topics ranging from the history of the bus, which is small, verging on non-existent to the ageing Rotweiller dog that is lying down, pretending to sleep, but really waiting for some unsuspecting foreigner to tickle its head so it could ravage them to death.

Anyways, we do some more investigating around the bus, it has a sunroof, it’s an automatic, and it has two sliding doors and an engine that is seized. Apart from that, everything seems well with "Olive". She has a half decent inside, a bed, a retro fridge, a washing up basin complete with tap and some old skool carpet, which I thought was quite funky, in a dusty, old, musty kind of way.

We stay around looking at Olive for the next hour or so, doing some more pushing and pull and trying to find things wrong with it. I mean, apart from the lack of a working engine, 4 flat tyres and a broken front quarter light, everything seems well with it. From the outside she looks solid, no holes anywhere and only a slight piece of rust near the driver’s side seat belt.

We are interested...more so than interested...we are interested, excited and bouncy! We decided we want it, shake hands, agree to call Bay Man later and stumble back, with a spring or two in our steps to the "beast" to make our journey home.

The topic of conversation within the Smart ranges from, how much we should pay, what condition it was in, and more importantly, how the hell are we going to get it back from Bridgewater to the hamlet of Keynsham....hmmmm...time for food we decide as we head to a pub on bank holiday Friday, which appears to be closed!!!! How stupid we think and head to another fine eatery!

The next day, Saturday, we ring the Bay man up and sort out a price; again...you will find out more in a day or two my loyal subjects...

Meanwhile...here are some photos of Olive in situ...

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Olive - The beginnings

2007-04-09T11:24:58+02:00

Well, best start by telling you what the hell this blog is all about. Nope, its not about the life and times of Ian Jeffery and his many random train journeys and photographic exploits, but about Olive the 1975 Bay Window VW Camper Van!

The story starts in a dark place and dreary place, otherwise known as Vic's (my "other half") place of work. She receives a mysterious and rather urgent phone call from Mr Preston (Vic's dad) informing her of the fact that there is a 1975 Bay View Window VW Camper Van (long winded name, I know you all know them as "Bays" but I thought for the un-Volkswagen obsessed i would make it clear!) for sale for £500!!!!!!!!!

I sit quietly at my desk in work, probably drinking coffee and probably laughing at some event, when i feel a strange vibration in my pocket...its my phone! And surprise surprise, for the 10,000th time that day, its Vic ringing me. The dulcet tones of Bristolian yocal bellows down the line, excitedly informing me of the fact that "there is a bay for sale for £500!!!!". Aghast, and somewhat suspicious, i ask more details, "how, where, why, with what, what colour, what engine and what are we having for tea tonight?"

Turns out this dude who works with Vic is selling a Bay which has been sat in his barn for 8 years for £500! We excitedly find more details and decide, in our wisdom to pursue this strange and possibly scary bus to its home.

So bank holiday Friday, sun blazing down, temperature getting hot, clouds running away, is the day in question we decide to go and see this mysterious creature.

We set off, in Vic's smart, my shoes are off, i sit back, put said feet up and relax to the soothing vibrations of the 600cc, 3 cylinder, cabriolet black and silver beast. All the while getting irritated by the crap music that Vic's ipod is spewing out and wondering if maybe barefoot is the way to go...hmmm.

Anyways, bank holiday Friday, us heading down to Bridgewater, good idea huh...i think not! Traffic everywhere, we get held up and cover 8 miles in 2 hours, we also get lost, blame AA routemaster, not me, its not my fault the instructions are wrong, we also didn’t have a map, wise move, again not my fault that i left it in my Beetle.

We ring the Bay man, tell him we going to be late, this is not looking good, how can we possibly get there on time, the traffic is jammed, every man and his dog, with matching collar and tag combo, is out and about today, I can see the trees wilting under the pressure of carbon monoxide as it spews out from Euroboxes and bloody 4x4's as they sit there idling whilst their owners wonder if possibly, using the new Cupornol spray which is new out, would have been better than trying to battle through the traffic on such a gorgeous day.

After much faffing about and direction changing we approach the Bay mans house...excitement turns to shear fear and nervousness...what would we find...would we find anything...would we get ravaged by rabid wild dogs...or worse...rabid wild Bridgewater yocals????

You shall find out tomorrow...

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